


The bitch, the coat room and the kiss that never happened.

by lia_bezdomny



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Adorkable Will Graham, Beverly Katz is the Best, Fluff and Crack, Hannibal is Not a Cannibal, Kissing, M/M, epic missunderstanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5994604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lia_bezdomny/pseuds/lia_bezdomny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beverly wants to throw a dinner party and has invited Hannibal, of all people. Will is less than thrilled because he can't stand the good doctor. And has most certainly never made out with him in a coat room at the Christmas party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The bitch, the coat room and the kiss that never happened.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm re-watching "Coupling" and some of the episodes fit right into "Hannibal"... Well, the fluffy version of the show I have in my head. Enjoy. 
> 
> Also, Beverly is in charge, because she is the best.

“A dinner party? You never throw dinner parties.” Beverly looks at Will and shakes her head.

“Oh, I'm sorry, am I not cultural enough to engage in a social setting, without looking like a complete idiot, Graham?” “Since you've used the word cultural instead of cultured, I'm gonna say no.”

“I will ignore that, because I am a lady and do know how conduct myself… You asswhipe.” “Fine, please tell me, why on earth do you want to cook and be nice to people for a whole evening.”

“Do you remember Mike, the guy from last June?” “The nurse who was staring at my crotch for a solid minute?”

“That was Matthew, and I told you not to wear those jeans if you don't want to be objectified. Mike is an engineer and he took me to a party at his friends house. Good food, interesting conversations, all in all a nice evening. And I thought we could use something like that too. All we do during the day, is talk about murders and crime scenes.” “That's because we are at work and that is our job.”

“Yes, but even if we are not at work, we keep discussing it. We need to see other people who are not affiliated with the FBI. So I told Zeller and Price to bring dates with them. And I also invited some people from my yoga class.” “Please, tell me no one of them is called “Sunshine” or “Moonlight”.”

“No, because we are not in the 60's and I am not down with the Manson family. These are normal people with 9 to 5 jobs.” “Fine, I'll be there, but if one of them tells me that _meat is murder_ and I should open my chakra's, I'm leaving.”

“That's the spirit. Dr. Lecter will be so pleased to see you there.”

"Dr. Lecter? You invited _him_?! You know I can't stand that man and his stupid, brilliant brain and his stupid, symmetrical face and his stupid, perfectly groomed hair!" "How old are you, twelve?" She rolls her eyes and gives him a cup of that awful dishwasher, the FBI calls coffee.

"Besides, I saw you sucking his face at the last Christmas party. I thought you two got on quite well." " _Sucking his face_? Who is twelve now? And I told you a million times, I mistook him for someone else."

"Oh right, you confused him with one of the other Nordic looking, giant men with ashy blonde hair, that inhabit the nerd sector of the FBI...." "If you don't stop rolling your eyes like that, they will be stuck in the back of your head one day. And I will laugh at you." She swats the back of his head lightly and he almost spills the coffee in his hand.

"Graham, I'm telling you this as your best friend: If you don't come to my dinner party, my wrath will be unmeasurable. I'm talking "Bridget Jones", "The Notebook" and at least twenty movies that star actresses with the name "Heigl" or "Hudson"." Now that threat was something, Will took seriously. Beverly hated those kind of movies, but not as much, as he did.

"Tell me, why did I switched from Alannah to you again?" "Because I'm not a two-faced bitch, who fucks your bi-curious boyfriend the first chance she gets."

"Yeah, thanks. Great pep talk as usual." "Come on, don't be like that... Do you need a hug?"

"No, I need a bottle of Stoli to get the taste of scorn out of my mouth." "Isn't that what got Hannibal's tongue in your mouth in the first place?"

"I CONFUSED him with someone else!" "And I CALL bullshit on that!" Will takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes.

"Stop wishing me away, it is not going to happen. Also, your life would be very boring." He sighs. "When do I have to be there?"

"The party is at eight. Come by at 6.30." "So you can judge me on my outfit?"

"No, so you can help me cut the vegetables and move the furniture." "Should I bring something?"

"Oh yes, a variety of clothes that are not made out of plaid." "I meant to drink."

"Anything that gets you to the point where you throw yourself into the arms of the good doctor." "I hate you."

"No, you love me because I will always tell you when you're acting like an idiot." She kisses his cheek.

"And I love you. Now go on and teach your class." Will trots away and asks himself, not for the first time, why he chose to have friends in the first place. 

***

_**Two weeks earlier.** _

Will Graham is not desperate and lonely. He might have had a hard time after his breakup with both, his boyfriend and his former best friend, but he will get over it. He only has to realise, that there are other men available. Men, who are comfortable with their sexuality and appreciate what a wonderful guy he is. This is why Beverly now sits in Hannibal Lecter's waiting room, with an invitation in her hand.

"Miss Katz," he says as he opens the door to let her in. "Do we have an appointment?" She looks around in his perfectly furnished office and shakes her head.

"I don't think I could afford your service, Doctor Lecter." He gives her a polite smile. "If someone is in need of counselling, I'm more than willing to modulate my prices."

"I'll keep that in mind." "Can I offer you something? A coffee? Tea?"

"No, thank you. I was just stopping by to give you an invitation to my dinner party." Hannibal looks confused for a second.

"Didn't I already RSVP to that?" He takes out his phone and searches through his texts. "Oh yes, here it is."

**_From Beverly Katz:_ **

**_I'm going to host a dinner party on the 5th of September. It starts at eight, dress code is: If you show up in jeans or a lap coat (that means you, Jimmy), you can go right back home. It's gonna be a nice, classy event, so God help you if you bring potato salad (understood, Brian?). And no pets, or clothes covered in their_ _fur_** _**, Graham. You have three days to answer. If you show up and you haven't RSVP'd, you don't eat. xxx Beverly.** _

Under the text was the answer from Hannibal:

 **Dear Miss Katz, thank you for your invitation, I would love to come.** **Sincerely** **, Hannibal Lecter.**

"I must have read over that, because I was planning to give you, Jack and Bella a proper invitation." She hands him the envelope.

"Thank you and of course I will be there. Without potato salad." "I am pretty sure yours would be delicious. I just don't trust Brian, when it comes to food. He thinks hot dogs are the pinnacle of fine dining."

" _Hot Dogs_?" The doctor slightly winces. "Well, thank you for your time, Doctor Lecter. I'm looking forward to see you there."

Beverly leaves his office and is proud of herself. "Phase one, completed. Now all I have to do is get Will to act somewhat normal around the man." It couldn't be that hard, they already made out.

***

_**The day of the party.** _

Will steps into Beverly's kitchen at exactly 6.30 and is immediately given a chopping knife and the instruction to cut up about four pounds of carrots, basil and eggplant.

"So, are you nervous?" "In general, why?"

"About tonight, I mean." "I have no idea what you are talking about." She takes another knife and proceeds to peel some oranges. He has no idea what his best friend is planning to cook but, he immediately dreads it.

"You and Hannibal, finally together again, at a party, with an open bar. I don't have a coat room but you could use my home office." "Beverly, I'm handling a knife and I would really love to leave your home with all my fingers attached to my hand." "Why can't you just admit that you fancy him?" He slams the knife down and turns to face her.

"Because, he is not INTERESTED in me, alright?! So could you please stop bringing this topic up and let me get through this evening, with at least some dignity intact?!" Of course she could not let it go. She was like a pitbull in _matters of the heart_ , as she puts it. Will usually calls this aspect of her personality nosey as fuck. 

"What do you mean, not interested?" "Yes, we made out, yes, I knew that it was him and yes, it was good. Amazing. But then Alannah showed up and I began to babble about her and my bastard of an ex. And he was really understanding and everything. Then we kissed again and I thought "Hey, give him your phone number...""

"But he already has it, we all have each others numbers." "That is what you took from _that_?!" 

"Okay, okay, sorry! Go on." "There's nothing more to it. I said, call me and he didn't. So, now you know." Beverly's confused expression turns into something he only saw two times: When a drunk suspect yelled something racist at her and she slammed him against the side of a car, and the day after he told her about Alannah. It was pure, unfiltered rage.

"That... _COLOSSAL ASSHOLE_!" Will actually jumps when she plunges her knife into the chopping board. "Why is he always asking me how you are, if he's not into you?!"

"Wait, what?" "Oh come on, did you really think I would push him onto you, if I didn't had anything to go on? Whenever I run into him, he asks about you: _Is Will alright, working so close to Alannah? Is he in a relationship? How is he holding up?_ I swear I was waiting for _Can I see his_ _brain scans?_ ." _He's asking about me?_ Will immediately scolds himself for getting a little bit giddy. There is a perfectly good explanation for that, after all. A somewhat depressed FBI profiler is something, any good shrink would be worried about. Except of course, when said shrink is a two-faced bitch, who calls herself a friend. He settles for a more political correct answer:

"He's a therapist, that is his job." "Fuck, I'm sorry. I really am... Do you want me to tell him not to come?"

"Leave it. We can still have fun, I guess." "I bought two bottles of Stoli." "And so the fun begins." His smile might be weak but it is genuine.

***

When Hannibal arrives, Beverly is still furious and Will honestly considers to hide the knives for a moment.

"Good evening, Miss Katz." "Doctor Lecter, nice to see you." She politely replies but she knows Hannibal can see the murderous rage in her eyes.

 _Good, let him see it._ _No one fucks with the emotions of_ _my_ _best friend. Not even Mr. Superbly-Incredibly-Fantastic. And Will is right, he has stupid hair._

"Are you feeling alright?" "Of course. Please, follow me to the dinning room." He greets the other guests and exchanges some pleasantries with Bella and Jack, before he turns his attention to Will.

"Hello, Will." "Hannibal." They shake hands and Hannibal smiles at him. _Oh no, you don't!_ Is all Beverly thinks and walks over to them.

"Hey, Will. Sorry but could you help me in the kitchen? I think we are ready for the first course." He nods and she could swear he mouthed _thank you_. But Hannibal is not so easy to shake off because as soon as she is bringing another bottle of wine to the dinning room, the doctor is right next to Will.

"Can I be of some assistance?" Will flinches and almost drops a plate. "Is that a no?" Hannibal quickly rearranges the food on the plate and hands it back to him.

"I'm good, thank you. You should go back in there, mingle. And stuff." "Did I do something to upset you?" He knows that Hannibal looks at him but he just can't bring himself to make eye contact.

"Why would you say that?" "You are avoiding me, since Christmas." _Oh no. No, no, no. Not that conversation. Not another "I like you, but as a friend", "I was drunk"  or "You've misread my signs" - speech._ He didn't even have his second drink yet.

"Christmas?" "Yes. The night we misused the coat room for our amusement."

"Our amusement?" "I thought so." Hannibal sounds a little uncertain.

"You were enjoying it, didn't you?" "Uhm..." He finally looks into Hannibal's eyes. They are much nicer, when he isn't drunk as hell. "Yes. I did. Very much."

"Then why didn't you call me?" "What?!" The doctor narrows his eyes, just slightly.

"I told you that I would like to continue this evening and also, that you should call me, as soon as you like." "No, I perfectly remember it. We were in the coat room, everything was fine, then Alannah walked in and said something stupid about doctor-patient relationships. I yelled at her, we kept on kissing and then I said call me." 

"That is not how I remember it."

***

**_The Christmas Party._ **

"She is doing it on purpose." Will mutters into his drink. "What exactly? Being a bitch?" Beverly never really cared for Alannah, but she accepted her as part of Will's life and so she never took sides, when they were still friends. But now, that she broke his heart worse than any boyfriend ever could, Beverly was vicious. Jack had to mediate one time, when they all had to attend one of her awful trust excercises. 

"Yes. And breathing. Existing in general." "Karma, Graham. She'll pay. I mean, look at her. She is clearly eating her feelings because that dress was not meant to be stretched like that." He tries to laugh, but the noise, that leaves his throat sounds more like a loud snort. 

"If you say so. Why is my glass empty?" Beverly sighs and gets up.  

"I'll get you something else." She walks to the bar and looks for a bottle of bourbon.

"Hello, Will." Hannibal Lecter, comes over and sits next to him. "Oh, hello Hannibal. Are you enjoying yourself?" "Not particularly."

"Not up to your standards? Is the Dixie-cup not the right shade of red? The finger-food not perfectly sliced?" He giggles and pats the doctors arm. "Is that what you and your colleagues think about me, that I'm a stuck up elitist?"

"No, I think it is nice that you have an eye for details. Like your suit. And look, the tie matches your eye colour. I said eye twice. And now trice. Is trice a word?" Now Hannibal laughs and Will finally realises, that he still has his hand on the doctor's arm. But then he makes the mistake to look up, and sees Alannah approaching the table.

"Oh fuck." Hannibal turns his head to see what is going on and immediately gets up, and somewhat manages to yank Will to his feet too. Before his former best friend can lament about how sorry she is for everything, he hears _"_

 _If you want to have my insight on the Johnson case, I would gladly offer my help."_ out of Hannibal's mouth and is ushered away. They walk down the corridor, Hannibal's hand still closed around his upper arm.

"Where are we going?" Now, he is feeling the alcohol and has to lean on Hannibal for support. "Outside. I think you need some fresh air."

"Good idea. You always have good ideas. But I'll need my jacket." They open the door to the coat room and Will begins to scan the racks. After about two minutes he turns back to Hannibal and giggles again. "I have no idea how my jacket looks at this point." Hannibal just raises an eyebrow and picks it out of a pile on the floor.

"You know how my jacket looks like?" "A wind-breaker with an anchor on it is very memorable." Will steps closer to him and stares at his mouth. Before he knows what to do, his lips are pressed on Hannibal's. After what feels like an hour, he breaks the kiss and looks up.

"Uhm... I gotta ask... Is that... Alright with you by the way?" Instead of answering, the doctor just grabs him by the waist and continues with his exploration of Will's mouth. Maybe it is the bourbon but he is pretty sure, that Hannibal's hands wandered down to cup his ass. Nope, it was definitely not the alcohol. They are so caught up, that they don't even hear the door being opened until...

"Oh, excuse me, I... Will?! Hannibal?!" He is swaying a little bit, as he turns around to face Alannah, of all people. She looks mortified and then somewhat mad. He can't help himself, he just starts laughing.

"This is highly inappropriate. Hannibal, Will is your patient!" She says with her therapeutic voice. "Your face is inappropriate!" He bursts out during fits of laughter. Hannibal steps in, steadies him by the waist and looks at Alannah.

"I have seen Will two times, about six months ago. We both agreed, that he doesn't need my counselling. He is capable of making his own decisions, as you very well know." "Damn straight, I am!" Will chimes in and tries to snap his fingers. It makes him look like a rag doll in Hannibal's arms.

"Yes, I think he is capable of that, but not inebriated like that! You're taking advantage of him!" "He's taking advantage of... Are you even listening to yourself?!" Both, Alannah and Hannibal tense up. Well, he can't really see the doctor's face but the arm around him almost takes his air away, and not like Will would want it to.

"I told you in confidence about jerk-face's problems with his sexuality and you had nothing better to do than to convince him, that fucking you was the better option. Yes, he wasn't the love of my life and maybe this relationship was not going anywhere anyway and it takes two to tango, blablabla... But you were my friend. I trusted you and... You know what, I'm done. You have no business sticking your nose in my relationships, life or this coat room. So kindly get yourself, your "Holier-than-thou" attitude and your stupid face out of here."

"Will..." "There's the door!" He points to the wall and Hannibal gently moves his arm in the right direction. She sighs and leaves, finally. Will rests his head next to the doctor's shoulder and exhales deeply.

"Are you alright?" Hannibal kisses his neck and still doesn't let go of his waist, but Will is too tired to care. "Hm..."

"I would like to continue this, another time." "Good idea. You always have the best ideas, my Lithuanian giant." He's pretty sure, he could hear a low chuckle from Hannibal.

"I'll take you home." "I'll probably won't be much fun, but okay."

"Not like that, William." "Oh. Pity. Then I can catch a ride with Beverly. She appled... appid... thinks of herself as my chaperon tonight."

"Then at least let me walk you back to her. That's the least I can do." "And they say chavilary is dead." Will has no idea why Hannibal is smiling at him like that but he wants to see it a lot more. Preferably in the nude. And that is definitely not the alcohol talking.

Once outside the coat room, Hannibal kisses Will again. And a few more times, for good measure.

"Call me, as soon as you like." He whispers in Will's ear. "Hmm... Call as soon as possible."

***

"And then Beverly showed up, took you by the arm, winked at me and ushered you away."

"Oh." Will thought he liked Hannibal's smile but now it was smug as hell, and he didn't care for it. Well, not that much.

"So, am I right by assuming, that you've waited for my call and thought I wasn't interested?" "I guess, we both did. Uhm... Do you... Are you...” Hannibal takes his face in his hands and the smug smile is replaced by something gentle and honest. 

"Let me make my intentions very, very clear, this time: Will Graham, I would like to continue that evening as soon as possible." And then he is kissing him again and it is so much better, when he is sober and Alannah is far, far away. 

 

 

 


End file.
